Now Read Aloud: A new little thing I’m trying: reading these letters out loud for the folks who prefer ears over eyes. Click here to listen to the audio version.
Sometimes the dream isn’t the dream after all.
There’s a talent agency I’ve admired for years—like, fantasized-of-being-
Well—last week, I did.
They were interested in me. Wait—what?! Cue the jig-dancing unicorns.
And then… yesterday, I walked away.
And again—wait, what? I know. It surprised me too.
During our conversations, something didn’t feel right. Actually, a lot of things didn’t feel right.
I felt unseen as a person. Unvalued as an actor. Talked over. Talked down to. Gaslighted, even. I started to realize that they weren’t excited about working with me—they were excited about what they could leverage from my (fairly significant) book of work.
I felt like a commodity. Not a collaborator.
When I expressed how I was feeling, they literally said, “This is just business,” and “I don’t have time for your emotions.”
That told me everything I needed to know.
Because for me, it’s not just business.
It’s my life. My energy. My art. My relationships.
It’s the thing I’ve been building with heart and intention.
And I want a career that reflects that.
I want nourishing relationships—with clients, colleagues, collaborators, reps, and friends. I want people in my corner who see both what I bring to the table and who I am when I sit down at it.
Would my career have benefited from gritting my teeth and signing on the dotted line? Maybe.
But I’m building something different.
Something kind.
Something rooted in integrity.
Something sustainable and human and joyful.
I’m disappointed. Actually, I’m so much more than disappointed. A little heartbroken if I’m being honest. But I’ll keep listening to my inner wisdom, because so far, it hasn’t steered me wrong.
Why did I tell you this story? Partly because I needed to dish and I find you to be an amazingly supportive listening ear 😉 – thanks for holding the basket.
But also because this is not specific to me. We make choices all the time that either keep us in alignment with where we want to go and who we want to be—or not. Some of them are simple and small and easy to make. Some are scary and excruciating heart wrenching.
Staying true to the values we set for ourselves (for me, living from a place of abundance and joy) will not ever be a mistake. In the future, these are the moments we look back on and think—hell yes, thank goodness I stayed true to myself because look at what came of it!
Saying no to what doesn’t feel right is never easy—but it clears space for something better. And I believe, for both of us, that something is coming.
You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.
— Brené Brown
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
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