If you can name the movie that line is from, “No more rhyming, I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?” we should party together. At this stage of my life, that looks like a hike followed by Indian food and board games.
And now, on to the meat of the matter—what a weird saying.
Self-Limiting Behavior
Super lame topic for a newsletter, right? It sounds like a self-help book or therapy session. I know, but stay with me.
Lately, self-limiting behavior has been a frequent theme in my life and I have incredible mentors who unceremoniously point it out and encourage me to work on it. Because any kind of limitation is limiting! Let that nugget of wisdom sink in.
The idea of limitations, being held back, and not reaching my potential—it gets my hackles up. I want to move to the other side, thanks.
The Facts Ma’am, Just the Facts
At a networking meeting with powerful women, I said, “I’m so grateful to be here learning from you all today. I’m just an actor and I sort of lucked into having a six-figure business four years ago and don’t really know what I’m doing.”
The woman leading the group, a fractional CMO coach (I had to Google that), stopped me and told me to rewind and start again. She was not pleased with my self-limiting behavior. She told me that of all women-owned businesses in the US, less than 12% make six figures. WHAT?! Of all women-owned businesses in the US—of any kind?! How can that be?!
There are definitely bigger issues at play here, that we should unpack later over a hike and Indian food, but this fact gave me a real boost. I am in that 12%! I like knowing that.
While I did rewind, I didn’t retract my statement entirely. I know what I’m doing as an actor. As a business owner, I still have a lot to learn. But knowing that one fact allowed me to unshackle myself from self-limiting thoughts that I am “just a” anything or that I “lucked into” something or that I’m not enough in some way. Self-limiting thoughts and words begone!
Letting Fear Do Her Job
Recording in the booth requires a lot of vulnerability and openness—a real willingness to let loose and play. No matter the project, it just doesn’t work if I’m judging myself, my performance, or my abilities. The voice is loud that wonders, am I not good enough, what will my client think, am I taking it too far, am I wrong for this part?
One of my favorite coaches/actors/friends, Stacia, told me to recognize it for what it is (you guessed it, self-limiting behavior, stemming from fear) and then usher it out.
So now, when I head into the booth, I take a moment first and have a little chat with fear. “Hey friend, thanks for keeping me safe in this scary and harsh world. You are so important to my well-being! Right now, I have to work, and I need you to go sit outside my booth. I need you to protect me from there so I can be free to really let loose and play in here.” And dude, I am telling you, she loves it. She likes to have a job. And she goes and sits, and protects. And me? I’m free.
Have you seen the new Inside Out movie yet? I haven’t but I love the first one and it helped me to think about (and communicate with) fear and sadness and joy in a new and more loving way.
Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. – George Addair
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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